Do you believe that people are either good or bad? Like the scale always tips on way? I don’t know what I believe anymore, about anything. I feel like I’m just here. I have no reason for anything. I go to appointments, spend time with friends, talk to my family, but what is the point? I feel nothing, all I think about is how much I regret not killing myself. it’s eating away at me everyday. All I do is cry, my sister asks me if i cried today when she sees me. I’m just having a really hard time and it just keeps getting worse, only bad things since that day. My best friends having a hard time with me being unhappy all the time and so negative and I think we aren’t friends anymore. But I understand it. I don’t want to lose her, this is hard enough, I feel more alone. Which I didn’t think was possible. But I can’t do anything about it because it will hurt everyone I know and I can’t do that. Even if that means living in a blank. Loving each day not feeling anything hoping that I’ll feel something tomorrow, next week or maybe next month. I know I’m throwing myself a pity party , but you know what why can’t I ? People have it worse off? I know that. But I’ve learned it’s not only about that. People feel things differently. I’m a fucking weak ass baby. I admit it. I can’t handle anything , it feeds into my mental health and my attitude towards things. I can’t handle things. I break easily. But I’m still here and I don’t want to be so for right now I’m going to feel sorry for myself, maybe it’s something I’ve always felt and will always feel. I know things aren’t fair. That doesn’t make it easier. Bad things happen I know that but they fucking hurt and my heart can’t handle much more hurt.